Hello!

I will begin by saying that this post is not meant as an attack, merely an attempt to learn something new.

I'll be very grateful for all responses, and I am open to any reading suggestions that you feel might help me resolve my doubts, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter above all else.

With that out of the way, let's have at it.

In order to feel that your body doesn't fit your gender identity, you must first establish the latter. My question is: How do you know whether you are a woman/a man/both/neither?

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I will attempt to preemptively address two of the possible answers, and give a brief response to each:

1. "There is a set of rigid, objective criteria that allows you to accurately arrive at the answer to that question"
   What would these criteria be? Meekness and increased empathy for women / determination and aggressiveness for men? Poor choice of criteria aside, this is obviously wrong. There are women out there who are far more determined and aggressive than an average man, and there are men who are more meek and empathetic than an average woman. For any given set of criteria you choose, there will be a representative of the opposite/different gender identity that will manifest them to an extent equal or surpassing that of an average representative of the given gender identity. Do we just call them freaks and ignore these cases for the sake of the argument?
2. "There are no rigid criteria, this is something you just feel inside"
   I'd argue that the default state of human identity is simply "me". It cannot be verbalized, and without the ability to share our identity with another person (yet?), it is impossible to compare them. In absence of criteria by which to judge things, we must resort to comparison – but if you have never felt like a man, how do you know you currently feel like a woman? What makes you certain that the way you feel is not the way most men but barely any women do?

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I am not a native English speaker, so some things may be worded in an unfortunate way. I am ready to reexpress them if need be.

I am looking forward to your responses.