Went out as myself and introduced myself as Sarah - 'he/him/his' pronouns followed. This is why I want to "pass" before I transition socially. Now I'm feeling dysphoric AF! HOW DO YOU COPE WITH THIS?

First off: this is a bit of a rant. Sorry folks.

Second: I hate the whole concept of passing and the oppression it causes for so SO many...

That said when I'm obviously presenting as female, makeup done, and self identifying as Sarah... STILL being misgendered causes SO MUCH FUCKING dysphoria... Like, I don't really get all that dysphoric if I'm out in boymode and I get gendered as male... but when I'm trying and still get misgendered - I feel absolutely destroyed. How can I NOT want to wait until I'm "passable" to come out socially... How do you, brothers & sisters, survive this in-between phase? how do you cope? Am I wrong for wanting to lock up girl mode in a dungeon until she has perfected her voice and makeup, lost a few pounds, grown out her hair, and allowed hormones to soften her features etc???

FML