I have been saving money for the past 7 months to afford the dang therapist. I will have $1000 in just another month but it's really difficult to wait now. Every night I dream of being a girl and wake up, disappointed as usual. Even after I get the $1000 I have so many fears. How many times will it take for me to get my recommendation letter? What if the Endocrinologist doesn't give me enough hormones to actually have an effect (the therapist I've been talking to knows a endocrinologist for adults but wouldn't know what to do for me and might just not give me enough hormones). I'm 16, I have a golden opportunity to transition but there's still another month and I fear I won't be able to transition correctly and I'll lose the chance I have to transition fully as currently I am in my youth.