I'm a non-binary AMAB hoping to transition to a woman in the coming year. I wanted to experiment today with femme clothing to see if I could awaken my long since dead fashion sense.

This is probably my first time being exposed to female beauty standards. I've been in a negative head space for most of my life. I'm trying my hardest to embrace a more positive perspective on life.

Yet... In all those clothing stores, it's not the social anxiety that stopped me from wanting to try women's clothing. But what I would think of myself if I saw my body type in those clothes.

I've been exercising, and trying to improve my diet.

Everything I've seen online from cis women has been body positivity, "love yourself as you are and not what you see on the internet." But...

As a trans woman, it's not quite that simple is it?

There's a whole new layer to this when my body doesn't even match my self image. It was undoubtedly too soon to go shopping in the women's section, but I've grown to find mens clothing dull and restrictive. Not to mention my wardrobe as a 21 year old is dreadfully small, I've outgrown most of my clothes so I definitely need to do something soon.

Am I justified in disliking my body even just a little bit?

Have any of you experienced this? How have you dealt with this?