TW: dysphoria, anti trans stuff

I live in a very anti trans and anti LGBTQIA country. Im a 20yo trans woman who is getting a degree in college in my home country. I have no savings and I’m worried about my prospects of getting a job outside of my country. I feel like an option could be marriage and getting citizenship that way but i don’t have anyone that I’m going to marry. I also don’t want to marry purely for citizenship. I’m also worried about my family who are very against trans ideas. what am I even supposed to do? anyone been through a similar scenario? idk i just feel hopeless. it doesn’t help that I have low self esteem when it comes to transitioning, I feel like i’m good looking as a man but I feel like i’d make an ugly woman. i’ve never been able to shake the thought that i’m not suited to be a woman