Hey y'all,

I'm a genderqueer trans person; I dont know how much that has to do with my feeling crappy right now, but I thought you should know anyway. I'm feeling tiny and insignificant tonight.

I feel like I mostly only have acquaintances and those people I do consider my friends have friend groups of their own, which somehow I don't feel like part of even if I'm friends/friendly with those people. It's like there are these groups and I visit several of them but I'm not a member of any of them. I just feel like an outsider and a wanderer wherever I go and I'm so tired of it. Sometimes its nice but I have this urge to belong, to have some solid friends I can count on to hang out with regularly.

I also worry people are discouraged from getting close to me because they worry about messing up on my pronouns (they/them), or they don't want to have to try to get them right or something. Or maybe it's more because I don't laugh at their vaguely sexist or racist jokes. Or something.

I'm depressed but it feel like I'm trying every thing I can to manage it and it still doesn't get much easier. Therapy helps, SAD light therapy lamp helps, medication helps... but I'm still so depressed. What to do? Ker-sigh!

Anyone willing to send some positive feels my way?