I haven't started HRT yet, so I look definitively masculine in pretty much every way. I have boyshorts, I have a few bra's, I have a lipstick and earrings and painted nails (and the means to get more feminizing stuff, up to a point), so some elements of how I present do hit the mark of a more feminine presentation. Body-wise, I have a stomach and no boobs, and a buzzcut-- it's what I like at the moment, even if it makes me look masculine-- I'll be the trans girl with the buzzcut that I wanna see in the world lol

To sum up, what I want to be seen as and how I look and present are not 100% lined up. Thus, my attempts to find some space in my life for sex and stuff have been largely unsuccessful and have resulted in an over-reliance on the internet and porn. I'm kinda tired of it. I'm single as well, so having a partner to fill this role is out of the question at the moment.

When I identified as a cis gay man, Grindr and Scruff and other such apps got me at least something every once in a while-- the more I weighed, that stopped being the case, but that's beside the point here. Now that I identify completely differently and want to be seen as/respected as more feminine, I don't know where to go to hookup with someone without running into the usual problems and staying in my dry spell. Reddit is nice occasionally, but it's been unreliable to me in the past.

For those of us who either present in ways that aren't 100% the hyper-feminine or sexual presentation or who are or have been in in-between phases of transitioning, where did you get your sexual itch scratched? How did you do it-- did you have to conform to the hyper-feminine aesthetic, or are there ways and places where you don't necessarily have to do that?

I'm sure that, post-transition (or when the majority of the physical changes have occurred), the landscape will be different and easier in some ways and more difficult in others. But, for right now, I don't want to play the long game when I've been celibate (by circumstance) for the past few years. Unless that's all I can do.