i think i worded this in such a way as to not run afoul of the rules. and I'm going to try VERY HARD to keep this concise EDIT: uhhh in hindsight i'm not sure i succeeded 😩

EDIT EDIT: i say this later in the post but just to minimize eyes-glazing-over and "nah too long"-tune-out, i'm looking for directions to other resources on the topic, not necessarily someone's fully fleshed-out explanation. unless someone REALLY wants to spend that kind of time here i guess lol

CONTEXT: THEORETICAL PERSON has an extremely hard time accessing their emotions, because of a whole mental attic full of their unresolved/unaddressed bullshit. one of the "you are safe to feel" triggers that signals whatever rare circumstances allow them to ACTUALLY access and experience those feelings--for example--is something like being alone and listening to music.

PROBLEM(?): in order to improve their psychological/emotional health disposition and regain long-term emotional accessibility/sensitivity--and process all of that unresolved bullshit--THEORETICAL PERSON has been trying to make those "you are safe to feel" circumstances happen more often. They have been making time to feel. However, these moments of "allowed vulnerability", or however else it might accurately be described, are usually during some other occurrence. Like while doing chores or commuting by car or other low-concentration tasks that can be done without much active decision-making, but are still enough of a functional presence to deny that moment as being "fully committed to emotional processing".

so THEORETICAL person isn't just sitting and feeling and thinking, it might almost be more akin to just releasing opportunistically, which may or may not be counterproductive. that's one of the things i'm not sure about at the moment.

Over the long-term of this attempt, THEORETICAL PERSON has been experiencing a sustained trend of their bad habits and maladaptive coping mechanisms GAINING leverage over their lives as opposed to losing it. they are experiencing a progressively improving ability to cognitively analyze emotionality, but not necessarily access it directly or react to it constructively in real-time. THEORETICAL PERSON may be trapped in some kind of over-analysis loop, and that is somehow impacting their ability to translate that knowledge into practical change/improvement. this is another thing i'm not sure about.

THEORETICAL PERSON doesn't just feel worse by dint of controlled exposure, as would be expected from re-introduction to traumatic memories and residue, they feel as though they are GETTING worse, over time. as in their ability to handle these things is somehow deteriorating as opposed to either staying the same or improving. is there precedence for a causal link between these two things or is controlled exposure/release pretty much always a good/neutral thing?

But, i haven't read /listened to enough books and such to know on the topic to know if this kind of phenom is just par for the course, or a sign that they are doing something wrong. OR if perhaps even the deterioration of related "good" habits--vs "bad", etc.--are actually totally unrelated and just a byproduct of something else entirely.

so i thought perhaps someone on here might know where to look for this kind of information. i'm not necessarily looking for someone to explain the whole thing themselves, any kind of resource/book/book-chapter recommendation would be great.

REITERATING ORIGINAL QUESTION SINCE THIS WAS LONGER THAN ANTICIPATED: is re-exposure to unresolved traumatic emotions and such always a good thing, or is there a "wrong" way to do it that just retraumatizes and/or reinforces counterproductive coping strategies and mental schemas instead of dismantling them?

thanks in-advance for whatever y'all might have!