I have basic needs, e.g. -I'm scared to die

-I want all of what I'm doing to have been worth it

-I hope for there to be something after death but there's no guarsntees

-I want to experience pleasures e.g.

However, certain philosophers e.g. Mainländer committed suicide, and had favourable viewpoints towards suicide, believing that God created the universe so he could know death. Mainländer of course, hung himself. I want to build a framework for living that is robust and honest, but the animal part of me just does not want to kill myself. Moreover, it is scared of interrogatig the subject matter as Mainlander did because I just see tat as, complete Game Over, the true traagedyof a life not well lived. I don't want to interrogate the question because I don't want to come to a conclusion that costs me my life.

Is there a place for more basic emotional instincts of wanting to live/experience pleasure, even in compassionate interrogation of phiosophy?