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My Supervisor has been “quiet-firing” me for 3 months after she befriended someone I reported to HR
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Fellow managers, help.

My first mistake was thinking i could trust my supervisor. I used to think highly of my her; we used to grab drinks, exchange gifts and support one another in the office. Relying on her is my number 1 job function because she approves all my projects, client meetings etc., now, we are in limbo after I reported a coworker who has created some serious hostility and she gaslit me the whole meeting. She barely glances over at my desk and doesn’t exchange words/ eye contact with me anymore; she fake smiles now and doesn’t answer her phone. She makes me feel extremely incompetent when I ask questions. She befriended my coworker and they are closer than ever— I’ve been actively applying for jobs and I’m just disappointed how the outcome of this office turned out.

I’m just venting how life sucks right now. Any advice?

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I would take this one step further and remind you that NOBODY at work is your friend. NOBODY. And you never know how your work structure is going to change, so your work bestie today may become your manager tomorrow. Keep that in mind in ALL interactions.

That's what happened to me. We got a new department head who wanted to change the structure of our department to have more layers. My work bestie got promoted to managing me and 3 other people. We talked about all sorts of stuff that I was OK talking to a colleague about, but not a manager. Nothing like, horrible, but just...stuff about how I handle my workload (given to her as advice when she was having issues with hers) that I wouldn't tell a manager.

Luckily for me, she is (so far) being a genuinely great manager and we had a great candid conversation about how we have to dial our friendship back and she also has either "forgotten" some stuff I told her OR she supports me in how I handle things.

But never again. All the new people who come into my company? I am nice and polite and friendly to them, but I am NEVER getting buddy-buddy with someone at work again. In part because this job is still clearly my best/least-shitty option in an industry that treats workers like shit and is only getting shittier, so I very much want to keep this job until I retire.

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1 year ago