Something I'm annoyed with myself about and a bit ashamed of is that I have lived abroad for many years (over 10) and have developed this fairly neutral, well-spoken English accent that has only tinges of Irish left in it. It's more like an Americanized, trans-Atlantic thing that I default to in especially in work but also when socializing often.

Yet when I hang around with other Irish people, it slips back to the Dublin accent I grew up with in a switch, almost as if you are speaking a different language. Obviously, there's lots of slang in there and general references you woudn't get unless you were from the same place, but it's not a super thick accent either. I would just call it general Dublin, leaning toward the north side.

I know it's easy to say "just speak naturally" but I really feel myself tighten up and suppress when I'm in international contexts. I feel myself embarrassed to sound so nakedly Irish (almost like internalized shame or that people won't take me as seriously?) so I instead employ this neutral accent I mentioned.

Sometimes people say to me what happened to it or that I have no accent adn that I'm incredibly clear and easy to understand. Other times, particularly if I'm partying and drinking, people think it's quite prominent. Surprise, surprise, drinking allows you to lose your inhibitions and that's what I sound like.

Is there some knid of well known psychology behind this? I guess I need to just stop being so self-conscious about it and just be natural in sober contexts. I feel like I come across as fake otherwise.