Hey, I'm trying to buy a dildo for use as a strapon right now, and I need help! I'm AMAB, and am looking for a dildo for my AFAB partners to use on me. I've occasionally used butt plugs for a couple years, and my partner and I used to own some kind of (quite low quality) pegging starter kit, so I do have what I would describe as an intermediate level of experience with anal sex. I'm trying to choose between two dildos right now- the vixen spur and the vixen mistress vibe.

The spur has several advantages- it has a firm core and a softer outer layer, which supposedly makes it quite comfortable which remaining firm enough to use. It's also not too long, which would help make sure it's never too intense, and might make it feel like a comfy option to use pretty regularly. It's essentially the exact size as my current favorite butt plug, which I find to be a great size, although my plug has the added stimulation of being vibrating. The spur also very realistic, which is nice because my partner is transmasc, and would somewhat prefer a realistic toy. The realism is also fun to use it during oral as a form of foreplay. My only reservations are that the limited length might restrict which positions are possible, and it is not vibrating, which is my main reservation.

The mistress vibe has some advantages too- it's slightly longer, which might make more positions possible, and could also be satisfying on days where I'm really wanting some more length. It also comes with a lil hole to put a bullet vibe inside it, which is an amazing feature (you can even swap out the bullet for a stronger vibe than the cheap one that's included). The downsides are that the added length might sometimes be a bit much for me if my partner thrusts all the way in, and it's made of a firmer silicone, which might not be quite as comfortable. It's also not realistic in appearance at all, which is honestly my main reservation, because my partner and I would both find a realistic dildo sexy.

Any advice?? This would be the only dildo I'll have the budget to own any time soon, so I want to pick right.