I don't know what to do, so I am writing this post- maybe your experience will help. I described some stuff with one guy here: https://www.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/comments/rg3zod/i_might_be_in_love_and_i_am_horrified/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share Here is an uptade. I had with this guy some fights, but usually we both wanted to solve the problem not win an argue. He had some meetings with his ex, but he assured me (he text me from this meeting every 3 minutes) that he refuses any sexual things. He was nervous when I tried to slow down a bit and said that "we are dating, no one expects commitment". The same time he used to call me "a friend" or "a mate", not "a guy who I am dating with" even though he kissed me in front of his friends. He also refuses sometimes to give me intimacy feel. This relationship ended up when I spontanously decided to feel some freeze on my naked body on his balcony. I really like experience esthetic things. That day was freezing, but with a bit warm wind. It was amazing! I was standing with a cigarette and feeling all of my skin this crazy weather. I had choosen a place on balcony that only staring people would realise that I am naked or half-naked. He wasn't happy about me doing that. He started insulting me so I decided to leave his flat and wait until he get rest. He said he need time to new years eve that he can decide what we are. We were texting through holidays but not much and I was hoping that things will be okay between us. 30.12 in response to my text, he wrote "we are gone through this" and send a photo of me naked on his balcony. I was furious that he was taking a proof to our future fights. It is like thinking about divorce when getting married. I try to give him a chance to blame his trust issues or anything else, not himself. He didn't get any reflexion- again he blame me. That was end. And 31.12 I realised that I actually miss him and love him. I wrote a letter to hime about that (all my crashes know about my feeling- thats my rule) but he claimed that balcony thing was too far. Now my heart is broken, my body refuses to do any work, just try to live day after day without any motivations. I made myself to have date, one ons thing, jerk every time I get worse, do crazy amount of work- nothing help. Still feel useless and hopeless. I think it was easier when I didn't have any love experience with other person. Any thoughts? Advice? Or just heart warming hope?