I think it's time that we, as a community, talk about a different epidemic: the epidemic of men on dating apps looking for "the Patrick to my David." ('Schitt's Creek' characters, for the uninitiated.)

Personally, this worries me because that relationship worries me. Patrick and David should not have gotten married. Can you imagine marrying the first dude you date? Had I done that, I'd be living in a subnivean grave of a town in the Midwest with a man whose initially attractive "bad boy" apathy has faded into deadbeatism. That's not 'Schitt's Creek,' ladies: that's 'Why Women Kill.' I bet he'd still have that pea soup-coloured Ford fucking Focus.

To the topic at hand, I see the 'Patrick/David' line as a red flag because of how truly terrible David is to Patrick. It's as if this guy on the dating app is telling you that he is needlessly catty, often ridiculous and requires you to handle and accommodate him with no consideration for your own person. I don't know, y'all: it's a red flag! Do I have this all wrong, though? Should I take my meds, at long last? I don't know. Talk to me. ♥️