Hey guys. So 20 years of pent up gay desires came to a head last night when I finally pulled the trigger on a hookup. It was freaking amazing. I made a post on a local R4R page - saying I was a curious first timer. A cute 23 y/o local guy with a nice cock hit me up. We agreed to meet. It took me a few days to get the balls to let him come over. I knew I wanted to go as far as bottoming - mind you, I’ve never kissed another guy or touched another dick in my life. But I did my homework, got prepared, read 500 reddit blogs about first time encounters. I was ready. Despite being nervous as hell. I’m usually cool and laidback. But boy was I nervous. The guy was great. Came over. Took it slow but took the reigns to show me the ropes. We started kissing. It was totally hot. And then we hoped in bed and got to business. The feeing of laying in bed with another man - our bodies in total contact - feeling each other from head to toe. Something I’ve fantasized about since puberty. But growing up in a close minded conservative life - the opportunity just never came about. Not in high school, not in college. And I downloaded grindr before - but could never muster up the courage to meetup. Note I had anticipated doing this for over a year now - and I got on PreP from my doctor. He grabbed my dick. I grabbed his. We jerked each other off. And then I took his hard big cock in my mouth. It was amazing. The taste. The smell. The touch. It was perfect. But I was over stimulated. I could barely get hard myself. Just the climax of going through with this fantasy was blowing my mind. Literally 20 years of pent up temptation and lust for another man. It was incredible. I loved every second. We kissed so passionately. He started to finger my ass. Mind you I have a nice dildo that I’ve practiced with. So the feeling of something in my ass wasn’t totally new or unrehearsed. After a minute or two he slid his hard, bare, perfectly shaped cock into me. Not slowly. He filled me up. The feeling compared to my dildo was incomparable. It was amazing. He was hard. But it felt so soft. I could feel him inside of me. He easily reached my prostate. He quickly began with forceful thrusts. I was physically ready for this. But not mentally. I couldn’t help but moan and moan and moan with each thrust - loudly. I was worried the neighbors would hear. It felt incredible. He fucked me so good - every which way. On my back. On my chest. Doggy. I tried riding him, too. But I wasn’t good at it. It was all too new. I tried not being a limp fish - but the overwhelming feelings through every cell of my body - I was almost totally numb. Paralyzed by the over stimulation - by the thought I was finally getting filled and fucked by a cute guy with a beautiful, hard cock. I was just weak all over. He fucked me so good guys. We took turns sucking each other off in between bouts of fucking. But the renewed feeling each time he put it in was like mind blowing. I wish I could have been a more active fuck for him. But I was so numb. So weak. So satisfied. Finally he got me on my knees. He was fucking me from behind. I was holding on to my headboard - trying to not get my teeth knocked out by it as he was fucking me so hard. It was almost too much. I almost told him to slow down or stop. But right as I thought that - he said “I’m gonna cum” - and I let him thrust his long hard cock into me over and over. And then he busted raw in my ass. I could feel his warm seed fill me up. I was almost sad because I wanted to swallow his every drop. But feeling it in my ass was I guess just as good. He removed himself from inside of me - and I pushed him on his back immediately and took him in my mouth. I literally sucked every last drop out of his cock. Not just rode his dick with my lips. I wanted to taste whatever seed he had left in him. I was sucking. Like the straw in my iced coffee - I was sucking the cum out his nuts through his long hard cock. There were only a few drops - because he deposited so much in my ass already. But I got a taste. A taste of his warm, bitter man milk. It was amazing. He got up and stood in my room - cock still at full mast. I was laying in bed staring at him in a twilight. We talked. I don’t know what about. But not for long. He had to go meet a friend. I needed to regroup mentally. I asked him if I was good for him - he said I was. He said he’d come over again. I hope he does. He said he wouldn’t ghost me - but he doesn’t fuck guys often, so it may not be right away I see him again. I don’t care when - but I hope he comes over to breed me again.

The rest of my night I was in a twilight. I couldn’t watch tv - I could only think of his dick in me. I went to sleep; it was already getting late. I couldn’t go to sleep right away - I could only think of the feeling of him nutting in me. I woke up several times throughout the night. Each time I did, I quickly realized what happened a few hours before - and got rock hard. I smiled because I was happy. I’m writing this at 5AM because I can’t sleep. I’m just so satisfied. Like a kid who just had an amazing Christmas. I want to do it again. I want him to fuck me again. I want other men inside me. (No im not going to turn into a whore - I typically not really enjoy a hookup culture - with guys or girls.)

I don’t want to fixate on him. I know it was just a hookup. But I hope he texts in a week or a month and says “wanna hangout?” The answer will be yes. If he doesn’t, I’ll try to meet someone new. Maybe a boyfriend.

Oh - PS - I didn’t cum myself. I probably could have if he sucked me off a bit more. But I was so over stimulated mentally. He also easily reached my prostate. I bet next time, I’ll have a prostate orgasm. Because when he hit it with his cock - it was too much - I told him to slow down or not go as deep. It was hard for me to stay hard myself. But I didn’t mind. I even expected to probably not cum. All I wanted was a man’s cum in me and for my ass to be ravaged. Mission accomplished.

This is not a fantasy for me anymore. I could never label myself as gay or bi because I never knew. Now I know I’m at least bi. Probably gay.

And for the redditers who say “nice story, but fake”. No. It’s real. I felt compelled to contribute back to the community who taught me so much. Curious bro’s out there with questions? Hit me up? On the fence? Take the plunge. No one could have been more nervous than I to invite a stranger to my house to fuck my virgin ass. And I did it. And it was awesome.

Thanks for the great time, Josh, in case you read this. (We did meet on reddit after all.)

And thanks reddit, for all your help.