Ok, so I will preface this by saying I've never had a successful relationship. And what would qualify a relationship as successful, you might say? Maybe one that wasn't based on sex, services, but built on I dunno, love? Haha, I just know how to pick em or maybe they just know how to pick me. :/

Anyway, I am currently 'talking' with one of my associates. He's foreign, a bit crazy, yet he seems .. sturdy(?), I dunno it's my bipolar ass that makes the decisions in my mind. But knowing my history, I've been very restrained in my flirting back to him. If you can even call what I do, flirting. I don't know how real relationships are suppose to start. Do I ask him to go on a date? Or maybe a night out??

What makes matters even worse is that my boss is into me and makes that very apparent. But he's so rapey about it sometimes like when I'm grabbing something from a shelf he will magically appear with his hand on my shoulder and crotch pressed into my back. No ty, I'm also a romantic. But I don't want my coworker to get any harrassment from my boss either. He's from a certain country with horrible job prospects, and the fact that he's able to make decent money here without skills or an education is amazing. He's amazing. But if my boss ever does something if we start a relationship then it'll happen again. I might actually lose it this time.

I don't know anymore guys, the world is just a shifting scheme of greys. And he's shown me what I lost, something beautiful. I just want some input. I don't even know how to start a relationship, or flirt properly. I don't even know if that will even be a good idea.

Td;lr when you think about the future, is it a happy place? I want it to be so, yet it never works out