Very long post...

Am I a jerk for almost insisting on good grammar in a friend or partner?

Depends on one's social and professional circle?

I make exceptions, of course, for foreiners learning English. But if one grew up in an English-first place, shouldn't he be able to use and appreciate basic grammar, regardless of any higher education?

Assuming you appreciate good grammar, have some or most of you not pursued some or all friendships or relationships -- simply due to a guy's poor grammar?

I only know English, and am somewhat embarrassed that at age 64, I've never learned another language. Nowadays, it seems common for many, especially younger folks, to know two or several languages even before age 18.

Sure, I took French in high school and even a few upper-level French courses in my liberal arts college major...but can't understand it, and can only read very basic French on a menu or package instructions, at best. So yes, I indeed realize how hard it is to learn another language.

...

For example, so many seem to utter: "Me and my friend will have dinner." Whatever happened to "My friend and I will..."?

(Ooops, above I had typed "what ever happened" but it's spelled "whatever" in this case, right? But...most would scream: "Who the F cares, dude!?" Right?

Or, he gave it to John and I." Hmmm, "gave it to John and me" is correct!

Or, using irregardless instead of the proper regardless, or using specially, not especially.

Yes, some or many who have poor grammar otherwise write well, especially on Reddit, speak well, are more educated and more successful than I am.

Yes, I do have various forms of OCD (including hoarding which apparently is a form of OCD), so I am constantly listening for and noticing poor grammar. Yet I am no grammar expert,and was never an outstanding student in high school or college. I am 64, and I've only been into grammar in recent decades. It was never stressd in the house growing up or with friends in high school and college.

Actually, I have achieved very little in life after college due to laziness, lack of confidence and whatever else; sadly, college was my high point. So, maybe I am simply overcompensating with my disappointment in myself by overemphasizing grammar in an obsessive way -- maybe partly due to my OCD tendencies, in several forms, which I eventually only fully noticed in my late 20s.

But certainly some others here, if honest, would indeed dismiss a potential friend or partner over bad grammar?

Or to others, maybe it's simply a unique characteristic, perhaps like a stutter, lisp, freckles, birthmark that some or most (?) would overlook in a partner or a friend?

I have a pal who uses some words incorrectly, but I don't correct him. So, see, I can indeed be reasonable. Plus, he can speak on intelligent topics, many of which I have no knowledge.

Okay, I likely sound like a jerk to most here, but overall I think I am a kind, generous and compassionate guy - believe it or not. (Lol)