I posted this on other forums and I want to get the most advice from this question as possible.

Earlier today I sent this video to my best friend thinking that he was going to agree with it. It became a full blown argument between us. He didn't want to listen to the advice given in the video because it was coming from a straight white woman. He said that since we have our own experience as queer black men that we have to face, that the generic advice that she gave was not beneficial to us. I tried to rebut by saying regardless of the difference in race, age, sex, and sexuality to this person, me and him had personally have gone through these issues when trying to date.

We had plenty of conversations about different aspects about dating over the years and we never see eye to eye on them. This latest conversation was particularly heated to the point that I wanted to call him names which I don't like to resort to with him. During those conversations that we don't have the luxury to be picky like women do because they have the option to get a "high value" partner and we are men. We don't have the luxury to pick a out and proud black gay man because of the trauma between black gay men and their family that created the "DL" epidemic because we are black.

Even though I wholeheartedly believe in our plight as black gay men within the gay community, the black community, and community at large, I will not let that set limitations on how I want to love, who I choose to love. I want my friend to not use this plight as a set back and expand his horizons on how to date. Also I don't want him to dismiss good advice just because it comes from someone who don't look us.