My ex boyfriend (26) just broke up with me (26) around a month ago ish, after a year of me being an idiot and toxic, he literally was asking for the bare minimum and i couldn’t provide it. He kept trying for almost a year of us being together and then decided to end things. I tried reaching out to him and i found out that he is seeing someone and told me that “the dude im seeing gave me what i couldn’t get from you in 1 year, just in two weeks of knowing him”

I honestly really realized that i fucked up and was being toxic and foolish for no reason and realized later on that just a couple of years ago i was in the exact same shoes as his and was asking the same thing from my previous ex and ended things the same way he just did.

I was talking to my friends and realized i most likely couldn’t give him what he wanted or actually have a proper emotional connection with him because i most likely have chronic depression and lowkey don’t even recognize my own self. Im honestly so lost right now cause i know i most likely had the best guy i have ever seen in my life slip away because of how fucked up i am, and im worries i might not get an another chance with him again.

I honestly don’t know what to do, i honestly want to go get some help and get better on the hopes that i try things with him again, im just worried maybe if im better he’ll still be with that dude he’s seeing and it makes sad and happy at the same time, sad because i know i can’t be with him, and happy cause at least i know he’s happy out there.

I don’t even know why im writing this over here and it’s the first time i post on reddit but i really need advice and help and i don’t know what to do.