Hi everyone! I’m 26 and a recently got out of a longterm relationship a few months ago (we were together for about 4 years), and I’m a little intimidated by the prospect of starting to date guys again. I have limited dating experience and I don’t do well with casual hookups (I have a hard time relaxing and being so vulnerable with someone that I don’t know… for me sex is a way to deepen an already established connection with someone).

Should I try getting back on the apps like tinder and Grindr? Swiping left or right always used to make me feel kind of gross and judgemental, I hate the idea of always judging a book by its cover. Also, Im always intimidated by gay dating apps as they always ask about your body type and your physical characteristics, and honestly I don’t know what “tribe” I fit into anymore physically…

Back when I was dating in my early twenties I was definitely more of a twink body type, but I’m older now, slim but not skinny, hairier… and I guess I don’t know what I should say on dating n apps. Is this a big deal for a lot of guys? I’m very comfortable in my skin and don’t feel a need to really change anything about myself at the moment. And since I’m not really into casual sex and hookups, how important is it that I list all of my sexual preferences and kinks? It’s not that I don’t like sex because I do… but I want to form an emotional connection with a guy first.

Any advice or opinions? I suppose I could try putting myself out there more and talking to guys at gay bars, I just don’t really like drinking or clubbing so I’m not at gay bars very often haha