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When friendships and casual dating overlap: Am I wrong for feeling hurt?
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Last night, I went to a pre-party at one of my best friend’s place. He suggested I invite another guy—a fuckbuddy of mine who I’ve been casually seeing but also trying to get to know better on a low-key level. I invited him, and everything seemed fine at first. My fuckbuddy got along well with my friends, including the one who suggested inviting him. But later, at the club, he started getting closer to that friend, and they danced together for a long time. I felt a bit ignored but didn’t want to ruin the vibe, so I kept partying with my other friend and figured it’s up to them to enjoy the night however they want.

Now, I had subtly shown some signs of affection toward my fuckbuddy earlier in the night (nothing over the top), but I hadn’t told my friends outright that I was into him or exploring a deeper connection. Still, I got really triggered at the end of the evening when my best friend and my fuckbuddy left together in the same taxi.

I confronted my friend about it and explained that I felt hurt and would’ve expected us to “read the room” before making moves like that. My friend told me he didn’t realize I might have feelings for my fuckbuddy and said it’s on me to communicate that kind of thing to avoid these situations.

For me, I try at all costs to avoid hooking up or getting involved with people my friends are into (even if it’s casual), especially without my friends consent, as I want to give them the space to explore their connections without drama. I’ve always approached these situations tactically because I know how tricky gay dynamics can be sometimes.

So, what’s your take on this? Am I being too demanding of my friend by expecting him to step back without me explicitly saying something? Or should I just mind my business since I never made my feelings clear to my fuckbuddy? Are you comfortable with sharing your fwb/fuckbuddies with your friends? How would you navigate a situation like this?

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1 month ago