Well, I'm a 26-year-old gay guy and I've been out since my early 20s. I'm pursuing a master's degree and living in a frat house with other 7 guys. They're all straight and I'm pretty open about my sexuality and they're cool with that even though they still carry heavy traits of the heteronormative culture of my country.

That being said there's one dude in my house that I can't stop fantasizing over going down the stairway, knocking on his door, and begging him to fuck my mouth until I cry. He's 6ft tall and, honestly, not very attractive although he has a goofy personality. When he's not trying to act like he carries the biggest cock in the town and being a macho man he's very reasonable and sensitive. He's my favorite in here.

The funny thing is since a gay friend of ours showed him my profile on Grindr he's obsessed about it and tries to poke fun at me saying he saw my penis and that I'm a nasty gay. Last Sunday he came up in my room drunk making jokes about catching me jerking off (which wasn't true) and he stared at me and told me I'm a dirty gay boy in a way that sounded more horny than jokingly. I clapped back saying he needed to work on his need for compensation in the Freudian way and he said he only answered that he saw my dick, which I said he's obsessed with. He was drunk so it sounded like he couldn't even hide what he'd been feeling for real. There was another time when he stared at me from head to toe when I left the shower shirtless I'm not an athletic muscled guy, so it was strange.

A gay effeminate friend who, how can I say, had his very fair share of experiences with guys says the "straight" ones like to externalize their desire by coming off with these nearly homophobic pranks and you gotta make them uncomfortable to see how far they go. I don't enjoy seeing things through this prism cause it's an argument used to justify homophobia but my studies and therapy taught one thing or two about the human psyche and it's hard not to believe that this guy who's shown a tremendous need to perform a certain kind of traditional masculinity isn't trying to compensate something. Straight man are so afraid of their desires and try to externalize them in some problematic and unhealthy ways.

Anyway, my tenure in my master's program is ending soon. I'd never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with him and the other guys or put me in a tough social position but man, there's a kind of lust that can eat you alive, and if there's the slightest chance of something like that happen I don't wanna let it slide. I'm working hard to see things how they are and not how I want them to be so I'd like to see stories from people in look-alike situations and how that turned out. Please give me some advice or share your insights! Thx