I’m pretty sure I’m experiencing limerence. I (36) met a very handsome young man (29) last summer and have been hooking up with him at least twice a month since. He actually hit me up on a hookup site. I’d say in the last 5 months or so I’ve found to become more fond of him. Aside from the physical, the way we talk and how we have so much fun together really got to me.

A couple months ago he told me he is talking to a guy that’s down years younger than him in another city next to us. He said that the other guy is trying to pursue him but he isn’t interested in dating him but hangs out with him pretty frequently now, he says they “mess around and smoke” but besides that they don’t have sex. Idk why he hides it or has to explain to me what they “only do”. Other guy is a top and I’m a bottom so he’s getting his fix. I’m not as available as the other guy but it’s taking everything inside me to resist texting him and tell him I want to talk.

I’ve been obsessively checking his socials, reading our text to read between the lines. A friend is telling me the harsh truth that I need that this guy only wants me for sex otherwise he’d text and want to hang with me often. I get that and he’s right! We’ve not texted in almost a month which isn’t rare but I want to reach out so bad and ask him out or plan a little get away with him.

Idk if I should try and show him that I’m interested in him in just more than sex although I have insinuated that I like him in the past few hookups? Or is it too late and just let him go since he’s always with the other guy? I’m torn and want out of the obsession.