I need to talk to a gay person.

Background: I have been seeing a guy I really like for a month. He’s got social anxiety and inattentive ADHD which may or may not be relevant as I digress. We’re not official yet, and I have begun wondering how to broach the topic.

Story: We matched on Tinder, added each other on Instagram (I never do this, only have my social circle of 10 friends on there as total followers), met on the same day, had a 7hr date that went really well. For the next 12 days, we only talk if I initiate the conversation and then only for short bursts, until he spontaneously asks me on another date. From then on, we are inseparable, sleeping over every other night, toothbrush at each other’s place, his spare TV at mine. Between his obligations and seeing me so often, I don’t believe he’s currently seeing someone else. We are not exclusive and both our dating profiles are still active, although I’m not proactively swiping since we started frequent dates. However, on days we aren’t together (every other day), his follower count rises by 2-3 and it’s always a gay person and not necessarily local, so I assume they’re from Tinder matches.

Possible red flags

1. Took a while to text back: No longer the case since we became inseparable, but he explained the prior stagnation period as extreme stress and the details checked out.
2. Haven’t met his friends: He met mine because I took him as a plus one to a party (he asked to come). However, I’ve not met any of his friends, not even his roommates who are engaged to be married next week. Reasons given are because he doesn’t have any local friends except the roommates or coworkers-turned-friends, and the roommates are stressed enough about the wedding that he doesn’t feel like introducing me to them just yet.
3. Erratic mood swings: When he misses his medication, his mood can swing erratically (horny to not, jolly to miserable, talkative to quiet). He’s never apologized verbally and never been violent/abusive, but will buy me treats afterward or quietly come over to cuddle me and I see it as his way of thanking me for putting up with it.
4. Constant addition of Tinder matches to IG: Just because I don’t do that doesn’t mean he’s not allowed to, but I can’t help but notice it happen when I’m not around. When I’m with him, he puts away his phone and it’s not an issue, so I wonder if he’s just lonely and trying to make connections. Just doesn’t help that a lot of those Tinder matches he adds look similar to me and I question if he actually thinks I’m special or that I’m just available right now
5. Does not make plans: Could be the spontaneity of the ADHD and his social anxiety making him retreat often, but I never know if we’re meeting today until the moment he gets out of work and texts me. Also has not discussed long term dating goals (Tinder says long-term open to short), but he’s also joked about impressing my parents if he meets them someday, and about how it’s great his cat loves me because it’s a requirement for dating.

He’s spending this week preparing for a work trip, then the next week actually on the work trip, then attending his roommates’ wedding. I won’t see him until the end of the month. I’ve lined meet-ups with friends in the meantime and a few dates with a fwb who is aware of my situationship.

tl;dr question: Am I a placeholder date, or am I not seeing the green flags and should ask for exclusivity? Red flags list has most of the details