It's the same cycle over and over. We start talking. He starts being nicer to me and dropping hints. We fuck. He's all lovey dovey for a while until he stops replying. I tell him I want to talk more. He says he's not looking for anything serious. He gets more distant. I try to talk to him and he says he's not gay, or he doesn't want to hook up anymore, or some other excuse. We fight. One of us blocks the other. A few months go by. Until eventually one of us reaches out again. I don't know why I keep going back when I know what's going to happen. I guess I keep hoping that the next time will be different. At least now I'm not as delusional as I was back then. I know he's not the love of my life. I'm exploring other options. But still, I can't stop myself from going back to him.