My situation, Part 1:

You read the title correctly. I (28M) live in New Jersey, and my boyfriend (22M) lives in Florida. I'm pansexual and he's gay. We're dating long-distance.

I've had several exes in the past, and all my exes were dominant tops who never allowed me to dominate them or top them. It built a lot of resentment inside me.

My situation, Part 2:

All that changed, when I started dating my boyfriend (who's a--shall we say--"adult film star", or AFS for short).

I've never had performance anxiety until being with my current boyfriend. I've bottomed only 1 time, in 2021, and have been celibate for 3 years. This is also my first relationship where any boyfriend I've dated wanted me to be dominant, which makes me so happy; it's been a lifelong dream of mine.

He and I are perfect for each other sexually (we're both into the same exact things), except he's done all those things, and I have not. There's only 1 thing, sexually, that I'm nervous to tell him about: I have a raceplay kink. I'm black, and my boyfriend is white. How do I also bring this up without him being turned off? I always get nervous when I talk about it with guys I date. And the other thing I'm nervous about is his reaction to me being a virgin (I'm a virgin in terms of topping).

Should I bring all this up to him? Or never bring any of it up, and stay silent? I'm just very scared that he'll judge me, verbally abuse me or dump me for the smallest of reasons (So many guys have done all 3 of those things to me in the past, and I'm still trying to heal from the trauma I went through).

By the way - we both love vanilla sex and BDSM equally, so what are some tips on how to please him regarding both those things? Remember, I'm a first-time top and a first-time dom (I'm a vers top).

I'm also flying down South either next month or in January for Christmas Break (Depending on when I have time off from my new insurance job) to meet him in person, for the first time. We just started dating a few days ago.