Knew I’ve been gay most of my life. 23yo guy so I said fuck it, I can’t wait I need to suck a man’s dick now. I found a guy that I found attractive and he reciprocated, so I went to his house

Was actually a very wholesome guy but I was super awkward coming in (could barely look him in the eye lol) and he asked if it was my first time, I said yes. He then called me a dork lol. A nerd. But then he said we didn’t have to do anything. We met on the premises that I’d only give him head.

We started talking after I told him I wasn’t ready, and eventually he just put one of his legs up on the couch and started looking at me sexually. I could see him get hard through his shorts, so I asked him if I could touch it. He nodded, and I grabbed him. He was definitely bigger than me and was growing. I love that he took initiative and got me started

Then he took off his shorts and I starting stroking and just looking at him, and then I said in my mind fuck it and out his whole dick in my mouth into my throat

This honestly was the most relieving time ever. I felt like I wasn’t trapped anymore. He grabbed my head and held it there (I asked him to use a little force/be dominant because I like that). He grabbed my head and controlled the whole thing. When he just wanted to be serviced, he gave me advice like to use my tongue and work around his head, use pressure on the underside of his cock. When he used force, he grabbed my head and forced me all the way down and thrusted.

I kept sucking him until he came. Did not cum on me or anything.

Really wanting to do this again but I can’t find a guy to only give head to. They just immediately block me after sending a face. I think I’m a decently attractive guy. The thing is I only wanna give head and I look “masc” (I have facial hair.. I’m also mixed (half mid East)? Maybe this is hurting me?) I just want to do this again so badly.

How do I do it?