I commented on post a subreddit that is mainly related to our country. that discussed about Israel Hamas conflict. I just stated why I don't like the view of islam on women's rights and the way it spread hate. This guy instantly scrolled through my previous posts on this subreddit about my gay fantasies and outed me insulting me. I'm in no way ashamed of having feelings for men or having gay fantasies, I know myself more than anybody else, but in my country being gay is in no way accepted, people are bullied and harassed for being gay/bi and its illegal to be gay still here in 2024 . So 99% of gay people in our country hide their feelings and act 100% straight.

I'm 24 yrs old and I'm bisexual (lets say I'm 70% gay and 30% straight) - and never been with a (man or woman for that matter). I'm attracted to women and get aroused by them but mostly I'm attracted to men. My eyes are drawn to an attractive man far more quickly than I'm drawn to a woman. I use reddit other online platforms like gaydemon/ literotica to scratch my gay itch. (I like to read porn and imagine/fantasize sexual scenarios more than watch gay porn) The thing is the whole experience of being attacked/outed by a homophobe left a such a bitter taste in my mouth. It made me wonder how I would actually feel If someone actually outed me in public to my friends and family.

I know my parents won't care If I were gay, but I have no intention of getting married to a woman ever It won't be fair on any woman to stay married to me while I'm having fantasies about men in the back of my mind, (but my dad will be disappointed because he wants to have grandkids so bad and I don't want to make him feel disappointed in me). Its a clusterfuck situation. I've been avoiding the subject of marriage my whole life since I realized I have feelings for men, but I won't be able to avoid it for much longer because the moment I'm out of university (I have just to finish my final semester) my parents will start to arrange my marriage. (Arranged marriages are a thing in our culture- my parents also had an arranged marriage)

My plan is to finish my degree and migrate to a western country like Australia, NZ, UK or anywhere. I just don't want to be outed before that.

Ps-: Sorry for the rant but I still can't understand why the gay community is siding with Hamas and Palestine when they want to kill us gays for being gay