I'm a 24 year old somewhat attractive closeted gay man seeking advice on dating, or at least new perspectives.

Couple things to know about me:

1) I have the presentation of a straight man. I'm seeking a more traditionally masculine partner, or someone who also presents as a straight man. I'm not really quite sure what the best way to express that is, so I'm trying to be respectful.

2) I want to properly court a partner or, dare I say, be properly courted myself. I'm not opposed to a little play on the first date, but the gay community culturally seems to revolve around sex while that only fulfills me to a certain extent. I want the travel buddy more than a sneaky link.

3) I have money tied up in business interests connected to homophobic people (long story, not getting into it, let's just say I learned at a young age how to grift a certain sect of consumers). If I came out now, all that money is gone. I'm not internally homophobic; I do business with queer folks all the time, my financial position would just be threatened if I personally were openly gay. I anticipate this situation ending in 3-4 years.

Now here's what I've tried:

1a) LGBT spaces. I've bounced around the country (USA) a fair amount for work the last 4 years. Urban and rural areas. When I say "LGBT spaces", I really mean gay bars. I've never once found a gay bar with patrons I would be attracted to or interested in dating. Where else should I be looking?

1b) Non-LGBT spaces. By virtue of my travels, I get out a lot. I've shot my shot and gotten snaps/numbers from guys I've approached but no dates. Challenge is, I have shitty gaydar and I probably come off as more dude-bro friendly than anything else. What's a good way to "tune my gaydar" so to speak so I know who to approach and to be clear yet subtle with my intentions?

2) Dating apps. With Tinder, my issue is a lack of matches with straight-presenting men. With Grindr, too sex-oriented. With Hinge and Bumble, a lack of matches in general. That said, dating apps are the only thing I've tried that actually led to dates. Is there another app out there to try?

3) Social circles. I've occasionally picked up vibes from "straight" friends that maybe there's a lil something more going on. The few times I've followed up on this, it's turned out to be my hormonal, optimistic delusions. How can I leverage my social circles while still maintaining discretion and not making things weird with straight friends?

To my fabulous openly gay friends out there: while my preference for dating straight presenting men was the focus of this post, just wanted to shout y'all out as valid and appreciated!

TL;DR: where and how does a closeted gay man find compatible gay men?