I usually don't like anal because it's a gamble for me if it'll feel good or it'll hurt, last night I found a way of making it not hurt and while we're at it, I went to a weird headspace, I feel like wanna cry because getting butt fucked feel so good. I was literally close to crying because I feel like being tortured from how good it feels (I felt like my body has to hold back what ever I was feeling because somethings happening and i’m scared of what might happen if I let it go) I want it to end soon but my partner takes a lot of time to reach climax so I had to cut it short and I felt bad for him.

How do I help myself to just be in the moment and not feel like that?

Sorry if how I described the feeling is too hyperbolic somehow..