To summarize, I have seen a lot of stigma on Reddit with bigger age gaps between gay men and even more stigma on younger men who have a relationship with a older man. I do not support pedophilia & abuse. There are certain instances of 15-16-17 year olds experimenting on their own. Most often this can be because they do not have a support system on their sexuality journey.

I am 10 years older now, but I did lose my virginity underage & to a man in his 50s - honestly he looked 35. Very attractive & fit. I do not regret this experience and when I hear about people losing their virginity, look back I call myself lucky because he was probably the most understanding, caring man I have ever met. The sex was good with him. The small talks. I was able to ask him for advice on many things. We no longer hook up and haven’t for years - moved to opposite sides of the country but we are still good friends today. My boyfriend has met him too. I can say I am glad I lost my virginity to him.

This was all my choice. I was 16 (underage in my country). He didn’t want to then I told him I’d find someone else which then convinced him. I know I was manipulative. I also know many will say it was on him and his responsibility to avoid the situation, but honestly - if he did - who knows if I would be still alive today or be traumatized.

I pray everyone gets justice for any abuse, rape, and pedophilia. Few weeks ago I mentioned my experience in a short comment just to give some advice on someone talking about this topic and I was beaten down mostly saying that I was raped.

I’m like please use your energy for those people who need it… there are many out there that need the advocacy.

So was it rape? Legally. But morally? No it wasn’t. If anything, I coerced him. Am I supposed to not be happy & is there something I am missing? My frontal lobe wasn’t fully developed? I always leave it because idgaf but seeing so much more made me want to hear it out.

Tbh this may bring a lot of hate but I hope to get some insight from all perspectives. Regardless, I do not believe my stance can change because this experience is one I never regretted & am very happy for.

I hope we can have a peaceful discussion if anyone feels any disgust or disagreement!