Sorry, this is kind of long and convoluted explanation for a simple question. I made burner account to not dox myself haha.

I am a mostly blind grad student in a very isolated field. I have Autism and can’t speak well. I am in a very small department, we have maybe 30 grad students and 150 undergrads.

I spend most of the day working and I am happy with that life. But sometimes I feel lonely and want something to change so I make a profile on a dating app. Then I get either paranoid or disillusioned and delete it haha. I have done this many times.

Everytime I make a profile, I see this person from my department. I think they are nonbinary, their profile does not say but it says He/They pronouns, I am very sorry for any mistakes in usage, I do not know very much. They are in a different subfield than me, but we worked very closely on a team several years ago. The project went well and I remember him fondly, he was serious and very shy, even shier than me, which is rare. I am willing to talk if it is for work, but they always seemed afraid to talk. We worked together several hours a week for a semester, and I barely remember their voice. He and I are both mixed race, which is not so common in the area. I always thought, if one of us were not so shy, we might have made good friends.

He has a sweet face and I like his hair. He always writes funny and sweet things in the profile box, most people write boring or nothing things there, so it stands out. I always feel sad to swipe no to him, so if they come up I close the app so that the profiles reshuffle and I don’t have to. I am wondering if I should swipe yes, and if that would make things awkward.

The thing is, I am not even sure if I am gay, I am probably sort of asexual. The only times I’ve been in love with someone it was a man, but I didn’t act on it and I’m not attracted to men generally. Also, this is a stereotype and maybe not true, but they are such a quiet and feminine person, I imagine they are looking for a big strapping guy to be with, so he can protect them. I am very small and skinny. I think, if I were taller and not disabled, I might give it a shot. But as things are, it feels kind of rude to even suggest it by showing up in his likes you list. I think of him fondly and would like to see him with a nice boyfriend, I just do not think that person is me haha.

Very long sorry. I guess I just wonder, what is the etiquette for seeing people you know on a dating app? I’m not out as asexual or gay or anything, because of my disabilities, it never seemed like a necessary thing to figure out, so I never bothered.