Hello all. I have a friend I’m in a group chat with. I’m Latino, for reference, and he’s white. We’re all gay.

This guy doesn’t get out much. He actually doesn’t get out at all. We all like to watch things together and ogle at guys that are hot, but this guy makes known his… uh, preference, in guys.

He just needs to always declare that he likes white men. Like literally mention that he likes white men. He says he can watch a YouTube video for hours if it has a “hot white guy.” We were recently talking about our favorite characters from a show, and he said a certain character is hot because he’s “muscular, hot, and white.” Whenever another friend and I will mention that we think a black, Asian, or a Latino guy is hot, he just always needs to make it known that they’re not his type. Like “he can acknowledge that they’re hot,” but just “not for him.”

The part that makes this worse is that he’s acknowledged that he feels like racist dating and sexual preferences in the past, BEFORE ALL THESE EVENTS HAPPENED. when my friend and I try to talk to him, he just gets defensive and lashes out. It hurts me especially because I live in a very white part of my city and struggle with feelings of exclusion as a gay POC. What do I do? He’s been a great friend to me in the past to count on and we’ve been friends for 9 years atp.