Self sabotaging, and destructive behavior. Anyone familiar with it? I feel I have a lot of issues I have to work out. One of them is this, sometimes I purposely put myself in situations where I know I’ll come out hurt. Sometimes I set myself for failure. I say things that will later bite me in the butt. I do things to people that will probably affect me in the future. I hate myself but also am obsessed with myself. I think about people thinking about me more than what I’m probably on their minds. I can’t let anyone truly know what I feel, I close off and lie about it. I make jokes and brush any real pain off, I push away anyone close and make them hate me. I hurt myself this way, I’ve always been like this. I’m tired. So tired of being this black hole where everyone I know is starting to give up on me.