Every time I go on Sidechat (Yik Yak) or a forum for LGBTQ or "Queer" people, I get extremely annoyed. It seems like there's a lot of gaslighting of gay male experiences to fit their agenda of how they want things to be. There's a tone of groupthink going on. Almost every time I've been there, I've been called a bigot for using or not using a term like "cis men" (somehow I'm transphobic) or "male" (told I'm transphobic and need to say "men"). It's always hostile.

But whenever I go on a GAY men's space, it seems like most people are rational or at least understand me more. However, there seems to be a huge push to call everyone "Queer" and heavily politicize the LGBT community, with gay men being the most critiqued and told to get in line. I feel extremely uncomfortable in these spaces with women. Now, there are straight women or “non-binary/gender-fluid” individuals in relationships with the opposite sex who are somehow under the “queer” umbrella. It seems like a lot of watering down, and I feel like gay men need to be more protective of their spaces and stop letting everyone co-opt them for their agenda. This is why Grindr is so full of cis women, trans women, and “straight” men for trans.

I'm honestly fed up and know so many guys who don’t want to be part of this politicized community, and therefore stay in the closet or are bi and go back to women.