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I (m23) have been dating my bf (34m) for one year now. When we met he told me he preferred an open relationship and I said okay because I thought I was fine with threesomes and going to saunas together and he said he was okay with that. We had threesomes and group sex together and I was okay with it and even found it quite hot to watch him with someone else.
After about 6 months together he told me he wanted to explore on his own. I didn’t really want this but I thought I could maybe be okay with it and he said it would make him happy. Long story short I hate it and I’m miserable. We don’t live together so I’m constantly monitoring him on Grindr and checking his Snapchat score. Every time I see him online and can kinda guess he’s had a hookup I feel my stomach sink and my face goes red and I’m miserable for the rest of the day. This also happens when I check his Snapchat score and see it go up. I feel sick.
I hate it. I don’t understand why he needs to see other people, we are a perfect match sexually he’s a dom top and I’m a sub bottom and our sex is 10/10 (even he says so). He believes men shouldn’t be monogamous but I want a quieter life than this. This just seems like a culture of excess.
I think he knows I don’t love it but he keeps doing it and it’s caused some fights in the past.
I know you will all tell me to leave him and find someone who matches more of what i want but I love him. I just wish this one part of him would change.
Can anyone relate or has been in this situation before? I’m suffering
Thank you. This means a lot and you’re incredibly sweet. I’m gonna talk to him about going back to threesomes or maybe even back to monogamy and see what he says. If he continues to put me in pain then I think he’s not the one for me. Much love xoxo
Don’t be mean I’m already depressed 😭😭
I don’t think just because I don’t want him to have sex alone with other people that means I don’t trust him. I just don’t like it. The mental imagery is something I hate
So me and my boyfriend both being on Grindr = monogamy? What 😭😭
I was okay with the original arrangement of threesomes and doing stuff together. When he went into asking for solo hookups I’ve become extremely unhappy
No 1. That is completely untrue No 2. I’m not asking for monogamy.
I mean we were open together and that was fine. When he asked to do solo hookups I didn’t realize how uncomfortable I’d be and now I really realize i don’t like it
We agreed to an open relationship that was playing together and threesomes. This feels like something different now
I think I’m fine with non monogamy but it’s a specific type of non monogamy where a couple plays with others together.
I was fine with the threesomes and group stuff. Do you think he would be okay to go back to that?
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I mean truthfully I was okay with the original arrangement we had in the beginning where we were open but we were open together. I just can’t deal with the solo hookups. It makes me physically ill and lose sleep