I probably hit up dozens of guys a day on Grindr. The only guys who ever really are interested are those typical faceless profiles. Every so often the faceless profile will have a bomb dick or match my preferences so yeah I let them hit it. But half the time it isn’t that great, they usually have way too many limits (I love to kiss, etc) or have a lot of red flags. I really want something more and I know Grindr isn’t the best way of getting that, but Tinder and Hinge also don’t work for me, and I’m not great at meeting guys in bars either.

It’s worth mentioning I have a less conventionally attractive body type, I’m kinda fem with long hair and a thicc ass, always been chubby but I think I carry it well. I’m not most guy’s cup of tea but for better or worse the DL guys love my fat ass. I have guys over sometimes but I haven’t had a repeat in maybe 5 years, and never really had an fwb situation.

I can’t seem to get quality guys - guys who are comfortable with their sexuality, want to go on dates, share interests, or want to even be seen with me in public basically. All of /those/ guys are looking for Ken dolls with abs and chiseled jawline. Guy next door types. For what it’s worth, I make decent money and I think I have a good personality, so I feel like I am dating material, but I’m simply not one of those gym bunny types so most guys don’t even answer my messages. Years have flown by without landing a date and I’m getting older. Bleh.

The last guy I hooked up with basically snuck out of my apartment. He was paranoid about the curtain being open a smidge while we fucked. He basically did not want to be caught dead with me - just wanted to use me and bounce. I get it, but it’s not a great feeling when that’s the only way guys ever treat me. A lot of these guys have girlfriends already and just want to satisfy their curiosity.

The more decent guys - you know, the ones with travel pics and smiling with their dog or whatever, pictures with friends or at a wedding, and who are actually emotionally available - the kind of guys I always pictured myself ending up with just ignore me on the apps. I pick my best photos and have a non-thotty bio and try to open with something their profile mentions, but it’s just “Read 9:32pm” dozens of times.

Do I have to change myself completely or basically transform into a dude-bro-Ken doll to get a decent guy?? The kind who will hang out after we fuck, play video games, cuddle, or god forbid go to dinner? Why does it feel like that’s so much to ask?