I feel bad that I can’t get into/enjoy NSA/FWB situations. I know I shouldn’t feel bad and I’m not wrong for this but I just feel like I should be capable of doing this. I guess I feel like I’m in the minority or something.

The most recent situation is a new friend who lives in my city and we work in a similar field. We’ve been friends for about 6 months and we quickly got really close, sharing personal things, supporting each other, etc.. well soon after we started hanging out things also got physical and quickly turned into full on sex.

We were both fully aware that this is just a nsa/fwb situation. However, it has been difficult for me. I’ve realized that the reason I’ve never been comfortable with these situations is because I need an emotional connection to guys I have sex with. I need to know/think that I’m special to them in some way and I have to feel that they’re special to me. The empty NSA stuff just doesn’t satisfy me.

I don’t think my friend is capable of providing me with this connection, after all he is in an open marriage. So I’m assuming any side stuff he does is purely physical. And if he IS capable, I don’t think he’s interested in me in that way. I know only he can answer this, but I’ve been dreading bringing this up.

I plan on talking with him soon but I am deathly afraid of a few scenarios:

1) he tells me what I want to hear and pretends, then I get hurt in the near future.

2) he confirms one of my theories above and I get hurt (least painful option, the one I’m bracing for)

3) option 2 he starts pulling back from the friendship and we end up chatting less and drifting apart. This one I think would hurt more than either option 1 or 2 as it could imply that the whole relationship was driven by sex and not our friendship like I assumed.

Look, I’m not looking to be his boyfriend or fall in love or go on dates or anything like that. I just don’t want to be “just another” friend/fwb. I want to be special to him, that’s all.

Not even sure why I’m posting this anymore. I guess I needed to get this off my chest more than anything.

I’d like to hear from you all. Whether you feel similarly or are the type who enjoys NSA and aren’t sure why I’d ruin a good thing.