Formerly “straight” late 20s guy here who just had my first real adult gay experience. Long story short, was out of town with some friends for NYE and ended up splitting off with one of the guys and ended up at a gay bar. He isn’t out, and I had enough liquid courage to go with it so it was a bit of a sloppy night. But him and I ended up fooling around at the end of the night both at the bar and back at the hotel.

I’d always heard the gay community is really about looks and physically fit guys and I was surprised to find out that there’s space for me there as a guy who is quite overweight. In all honesty my size has held me back from exploring for many years. I was 180 in high school and am somewhere in the high 300s (maybe more) now and was always a bit embarrassed about my weight gain, and over the years have mainly dated larger women.

So I’m curious, as a big bi guy where do I fit in? How can I find my community that my body type appeals to? I’m in Toronto Canada so I know there’s a big gay community here. But no one seems to look like me.