I’ll start off by saying this is going to be a little lengthy but here we go, so Im in the ffa(future farmers of America) at my high school which is basically full of rednecks (I’m in Texas 😅) Im also out and everyone knows I’m gay but no one really cares. So anyways a year ago in 10th grade I met this, I immediately was like “omg he’s the cutest guy every here goes another straight boy crush🙄” butttt I started asking my friends about him and some that went to school with him said he was gay and apparently did some shit in 6th grade with a guy and it got out, also he apparently tried to come out to his parents but his dad either yelled at him or actually hit him, idk. So the year goes on and I become friends with this guy, and as luck has it we both end up raising goats for FFA!!!, andddd we have pens right next to each other! Oh another thing you should know, as time went on and we became better friends he would tell me occasionally about his drug addiction, and I don’t mean he just liked to vape and smoke 🍃, he was into hard shut like Escobar powder and pills, anyways one day we were at the barn one day and I was just leaning against my goats pen when he comes up to me and just stands next to me, it was kinda awkward because neither of us said anything, but then he just like rubbed my ear, I didn’t jerk away or anything but in my head I was like “WTF!!” I turned and looked at him and immediately knew he was high but still I had been around him when he was high and he wasn’t like this, anyways I just ignored it and left,after that we were just normal friends for a while till yet again a late night at the barn when nobody is there he comes up to me, sober this time, and ask me some questions about being gay and if i ever thought I was bi, and I got obvious ideas from what he was asking me but I was too much of a pussy to ask him if he was bi or gay, so we kinda didn’t talk for awhile after that but we were still friends, anyways summer came around and I kinda cut connections with all my friends, I had a rough summer, that’s a story for another time. So this august we went back to school and I still hadn’t talked to this guy, when sometime in the second week of school I’m walking in the crowded hallway and he comes up to me and grabs my bicep and just holds on for a couple seconds, I turned and saw him and just smiled and walked off, yet again the left me wondering what the hell just happened. So we both got another goat for FFA and so we started re kindling out friendship, He even asked for my help picking his goat he walked around for an hour or so looking at the goat, so basically we became friends again which was nice, but he continues to do weird things that just send very mixed signals, like one day in the halls he grabs my arm again out of no where, but then the next day when I say hi to him in the hallway he just ignores me or something like that, I know that probably just me reading into things a little to much but whatever, anyways the most recent thing that happened was that like I said I had a rough summer struggling with some gay depression and all that, and he also is depressed(like every kid in my generation) so he kinda relates i guess. My tik tok fy page is just depressed things and quotes, anyways I had a bad night and got fucked up and I guess i decided to repost a bunch of depressing shit on tik tok. So he sees this and text me at like 3 in the morning after I already passed out, so I wake up to this and I’m yet again like”OMG!!!,,, Wtf?!???” Because he sends me a text saying like I saw you tik tok and I want to let you know I’m here for you, I know we aren’t as good friends as we were but if you ever need someone to talk too you can call me. This is literally the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me like omgggggg, and he had me in a big storm of confusion and bliss, I don’t even know, I’m just yapping at this point, anyway thank you for reading this far, I know I’m very long winded, do you think hes gay, am I just reading into it, idk help plzzz