I feel like as gay men most of us develop thick skin to homophobia. I’ve noticed over the years when people find out I’m gay there’s a variety of responses (i’ve traveled to 25 countries for reference).

Well, some people are accepting to gays and lesbians there are some who are tolerant. There’s also people who are tolerant of gays and lesbians but will be very transphobic.

There’s a thing called the Riddle Scale which defines how homophobic people by definitions.

Here’s the list

1. Repulsion: Homosexuality is seen as a crime against nature. Gays/lesbians are considered sick, crazy, immoral, sinful, wicked, etc. Anything is justified to change them: incarceration, hospitalization, behavior therapy, electroconvulsive therapy, etc.

2. Pity: Represents heterosexual chauvinism. Heterosexuality is considered more mature and certainly to be preferred. It is believed that any possibility of becoming straight should be reinforced, and those who seem to be born that way should be pitied as less fortunate ("the poor dears").

3. Tolerance: Homosexuality is viewed as a phase of adolescent development that many people go through and most people grow out of. Thus, lesbians/gays are less mature than straights and should be treated with the protectiveness and indulgence one uses with children who are still maturing. It is believed that lesbians/gays should not be given positions of authority because they are still working through their adolescent behavior.

4. Acceptance: Still implies that there is something to accept; the existing climate of discrimination is ignored. Characterized by such statements as "You're not lesbian to me, you're a person!" or "What you do in bed is your own business." or "That's fine with me as long as you don't flaunt it!"

5. Support: People at this level may be uncomfortable themselves, but they are aware of the homophobic climate and the irrational unfairness, and work to safeguard the rights of lesbians and gays.

6. Admiration: It is acknowledged that being lesbian/gay in our society takes strength. People at this level are willing to truly examine their homophobic attitudes, values, and behaviors.

7. Appreciation: The diversity of people is considered valuable and lesbians/gays are seen as a valid part of that diversity. People on this level are willing to combat homophobia in themselves and others.

8. Nurturance: Assumes that gay/lesbian people are indispensable in our society. People on this level view lesbians/gays with genuine affection and delight, and are willing to be their allies and advocates.

I feel that my mother is a 6-7 where as my father is a 5 (he used to be a 3 when I came out).

I couldn’t be friends with someone myself if they were a 1-3 because I would be viewed negatively. I also wouldn’t need someone to be an 8 because I don’t need people to love me because I’m gay.

What do you think?