I came out at the young age of 11 years old. While I was bullied in middle school (and more feminine at the time too) I was accepted and somewhat popular in high school. My head will turn for above average or very attractive guys but rarely will I turn my head for women. Even when I’ve been to clubs and women dance with me (grind, rub against me) I don’t get turned on. I almost think “wow she’s so pretty but I’m not getting a boner, unfortunate”.

The one thing I will say is when I was in high school (aside from gay porn) I watched a type of straight porn called “femdom” which is dominatrix (woman dominating a man). I loved a studio called Divine Bitches. While I would mostly be into the hot guy being dominated it turned me on seeing them eat kitty, ass, or just be a slut of the girl.

I am a submissive top and like when a bottom is like this to me. I have a fantasy of being tied up and used as a slut for a hot bottom.

Fast forward to 2020 when I was 20 - I actually got with an FTM. While they weren’t very cleanly - it felt so damn good. I’ve been with two more since then and had much better experiences in terms of hygiene.

Another fast forward to now - I’m starting to watch solo women play with themselves and I’m getting just as turned on as gay porn (even sometimes more because most gay porn sucks nowadays). I’ve been with dozens of men in my life and can say that I’m genuinely confused and bit scared.

I personally don’t really like the idea that I’m into women at all. I don’t mean this to come off as misogynistic, but I don’t think really like women since I hear negative things about them from other people (women included). I have two friends from high school that are girls but I find them bland and not attractive because they’re close to me like sisters. The women I find attractive are porn star white girls (perfect kittys, tits). Think a Victoria’s Secrets model.

Long story short, am I gay with straight tendencies or am I Bi? Am I Pan?