For many long years, I (32M from Montreal, Canada) have been looking for a regular friend with benefits, with only very limited success. I don't understand why it's so hard, so I'm looking for advice.

I'm looking for a reasonably attractive top in my age bracket to have sex with on a regular basis. Something safe and discreet. Ideally, a dominant and verbal one, but I'm open to something more vanilla. He doesn't have to be a super model with a 10" dick. Just decent-looking and reliable.

I don't think this is something outlandish to be looking for, but for some reason, this does not seem possible!? Craigslist, Fetlife, Grindr, Recon, DoubleList, Reddit, Squirt... I've been looking seemingly everywhere, in vain. At this point, I haven't had sex in over a year. Is this just a factor of the "market imbalance" between the large number of bottoms and the small number of tops in Montreal?

I'm only 32 years old, and I feel like simply giving up on sex entirely. I want neither a succession of "one-nights", nor am I interested in a boyfriend, but a simple fuck buddy keeps eluding me. I'm mostly contacted by men in their 60s or flaky guys. How come the pool of candidates is so poor in terms of quantity and quality? When I do encounter someone I like, it quickly ends with a let down. I find it extremely frustrating to be at the mercy of the whims of other people. And after so many years of constant disappointment, it's rather disheartening.

I keep hearing from people in my personal life that I'm so good looking and charming and that I should have no problem finding someone... but I don't see any of them taking their clothes off for me after they say that! 😆

So please tell me, folks, am I missing something? Where is everybody!? Is there some new app or platform that everybody has migrated to, which I'm not aware of!? Should I resume having sex only later in life, when I have enough disposable income to justify putting a "professional" on retainer? 😅