I live in a Islamic country of South Asia.I figured out i like men when i was 16. Didn't think about the consequences of it for a long time. But I knew I had to leave this country to live my life. I was hopeful of my departure as I passed engineering and thought it would be easier for me to immigrate to another country. For last 5 years I have been chasing this, but COVID-19 has done a huge damage in this journey. Currently, I am trying for student visa, but still it is not happening for uncertain reasons. Now I am 31, my loving parents are chasing me to get married to a girl. I do a very good job in my country. Everybody around me thinks my life is perfect and joyful. But, deep inside i am dying everyday. I just don't know what to do. I am craving for love, craving for a cuddle, craving for a happy time. I cannot fake it no more.