Here’s the scenario. My family recently hosted a birthday party. Most of the people in our orbit are white but there is one couple that is black. We invite them to most everything and they usually attend. This time, just the husband came bc his wife was busy. He was the first guest to arrive. Let’s call him A.

Other guests started arriving. One of the guests is an old friend of the family. We honestly don’t particularly like her but she’s married to another old friend so she basically has to be invited. Let’s call her B.

I’ll go ahead and put out there that B is older and her mental faculties seem to be declining a bit. She was always kind of someone who just said whatever and didn’t seem worried if it hurt someone’s feelings…but I think these days she just a little less aware of her surroundings, etc. she also grew up in a time and place where race was viewed differently than it is today.

So B walks in and starts saying hello to people. She sees A and appears confused. I didn’t hear what she said next but I think it was something to the affect of assuming A is a security guard for the event venue…rather than a party guest. She was corrected and told that A is a friend of ours. I think maybe she seemed a little bit embarrassed but I’m not sure. It was not a large party but I don’t think I saw A and B interact at all.

I am not going to say anything to B. It’s not a worthwhile conversation and she’s really only someone I see every few years.

I’m not super close to A but I do see him a couple times a year at least. He’s a super nice guy.

I am considering saying something to A. Maybe apologizing that happened. Maybe letting him know that B is not someone we see frequently and that I think maybe her mind is not all there all the time.

But…I’m not sure if A even heard what she said. And I don’t want to make an issue if one doesn’t exist. If he is blissfully unaware maybe that’s better.

Do you think I should say something to A? If so, why should I say?