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Help! My (31f probably autistic) housemate (28f diagnosed autistic) is info dumping me to death
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I have mostly been surrounded by NTs my whole life so the new social dynamic is catching me on the chin.

I have a new house mate, and we got along initially really well. However, most conversations have devolved into them info dumping on something that excited them.

The thing is,about 90% of the time I know nearly as much or more. I don't want to sit through a live educational info dump that a YouTube video already did a better job of. I can often identify and more accurately quote their original sources.

I'm growing increasingly frustrated. They seem to have no spontaneous regard for if I'm interested in the conversation. If I ask whether they care, they say the do and I believe them, but they don't seem to remember to care so the impetus to make conversations something I don't dread is entirely on me.

And to that end, I've tried:

  • Agreeing with them and trying to move the topic (requires interruption or they just keep going)
  • letting them know I'm already familiar (they just keep going or stall because they had no other thing in mind to communicate but the info)
  • adding nuance to their talking points (they take it as a challenge)
  • going full grey rock mode to see how long they'll continue (a long time)

They don't ask me any questions or show curiosity about my experience or info or what I think about their info.

You might as well replace me with a cutout for all the room they make for me in the conversation, or interest they show.

It leaves me feeling resentful and dreading them.

Tips?

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6 months ago