Buckle up. This is going to be a fun one... maybe. Idk. We'll see. (Questions at the bottom)

As a young lad, I went to "therapy".. I label it as such because I've always been a little on the spectrum... When I finally got my parents to listen, they "allowed" me to stop going...

15 years later and I've been diagnosed with some pretty cool stuff (joking but not 😂). I've been seeing my psychiatrist for about a year or so. At first, I told her what I thought of therapy and how I personally feel about it. Over the past 3-4 months, she's been extremely frequent in mentioning/stating that I should start going... Of course, parents are on-board with this... My S/O knows how I feel about it and says to do what I feel is right...

My thoughts on therapy: Personally, I think it's not for me and is... useless. I don't want to use the word "scammy", because I've seen the genuine positive impact it can and does have for people. But for myself, I can't see it... I do want it be notated that it's not from the lack of trying or being closed minded. Over the past few months I have gone through... Maybe 15 therapists or so?

The main issue(s) I have with them is mostly due to my thought process and outlook, I think. I'm not a very, "in my feelings" type person. Every decision I make, including in regards to "intimate" relationships is done via method and logic. I'm also very straight forward. I will swear and we will both find out what I'm going to say at the same time. As contradictory as that may seem due to the previous statement, so allow me to further explain. In decisions or situations in which emotions would typically decide your response(s), mine "shuts down" to process the scenario and respond in a non-emotional way. My S/O hates it 😂 sorry love.

To try and shorten and get to the question: Since I've gone through a dozen therapists within such a short amount of time, am I just cooked for therapy? The major reasons I've gone through so many is because some are just way too sensitive for my liking, (shit you not, I had one say anything that isn't nurturing is considered traumatic. I feel bad for that one... Real world must be brutal), and I've had another cry because of the, "traumatic experiences" I've gone through. Another reason is because I apparently am too candid or not professional in our meetings... Okay, let me not be myself, I guess? Idk. 😂

I'm truly at a loss because everything I've concluded therapy to be has essentially been proven with these experiences. If I had only gone through a few, I don't think that would be enough data... And some people may even think 15 isn't a lot within a 3 month span... But I also didn't include the therapists I "screened" and decided no from the screening because of how they stated they work with their patients (essentially like the first 2 I mentioned earlier). My psych recommended me quite a few and they have a whole list... of which I've gone through...

I'm just looking for either "validity" in my thinking of this, (due to a lack of a better term or synonym) or if there's something I'm missing?

I'd also be extremely open to referrals if you or someone you know of has experience in dealing with "my type of people" 😂

For clarification on the my type of people; the diagnosis: Severe Depression/Mania and BPD II. Autism. Anxiety (I don't like this one because it's a physical rather than mental one that I have. Essentially ticks while my brain doesn't feel the anxiety). And ADHD (QB test results had 2 categories in the 99% and the other in the 97%).

If anyone has any recommendations or anything of the sort, I'm very open to it! And since I know that this matters in this field (I think?); I'm based in the US. Specific state is AZ.

Thank you and have a great night/morning!