Last year has proven to be the worst yet most enlightening year of my life. I decided to focus on my mental health and lucked into a phenomenal team of clinicians that I find myself afraid of disappointing. Over the course of my treatment this year I’ve seen many improvements in my capabilities to work, maintain emotional stability, and like/ love myself, all areas in which I struggled. However during this time I started a recreational drug journey that has resulted in the cessation of alcohol abuse and the beginning of meth use. Now I’m completely dependent and struggling with maintain the secret to keep my livelihood whilst honestly wanting to quit. I can barely go three days without smoking, and if I push any further I’m incapable of functioning. All the while I had maintained my therapy and med management sessions, but have not be forthcoming due to the disappointment and shame I fear I’ll receive when/if I do. Where do I even begin in opening up about this recent development in my life? How do I ask for help knowing it very well could cost me everything? What can I expect from my team when they discover the truth?