Hello, first of all thank you for taking the time to read my post. I have this friend who I’ve known for 15 years who I have noticed says pretty ignorant things. There is one instance that stands out in my mind and I’d appreciate perspective from the black community.

Story time. My friend and I (both white women) were out at a bar, I’ll refer to my friend as A. I was talking excitedly about an up and coming country music artist whose music I love. I have seen this artist perform live twice, and I have played their music in my car with A present. A has also been present when I’ve requested this artist’s music on a bar’s jukebox. She knows I love country music and that I love this specific artist. I was talking about how talented they are as a singer/songwriter. I expressed how cool it was that they were the first black person to win a specific CMA award, and how refreshing it was to see the country music genre changing to include a wider variety of talent. I mentioned that the more recent time I saw this artist perform, the majority of their band were black and how I had never seen a country music act like that before and that I loved seeing the genre evolve. I have loved country music since childhood and IMO it’s only getting better now that it’s diversifying in talent and perspective. My friend went silent and looked uncomfortable, so I asked her what was up and she said basically verbatim, “I just can’t relate to only liking a music artist because they’re black.” In that moment I was shocked because first of all that’s ridiculous and untrue, and secondly it was like she chose not to hear the point of what I was saying and instead popped off with some twisted up conservative talking point.

This friend has had a history of saying ignorant things and I have always made excuses for her, but this particular exchange has stuck with me. I’m confident that she would never say something like that to a black person’s face, which speaks volumes. But is that a racist thing to say / think? I’m trying to decide the future of my friendship with A, and if I should address this with her.

Thank you for your time and consideration.