I am about to turn 55 next week and need clarity. I have been masculine most of my life, but lately I am not so sure. It started innocently with curiosity about being a bottom. It has grown lately, due to extreme loneliness to wearing lingerie when I am not out the majority of the time. I fantasize about growing breast and being quite feminine looking. I take all I can to grow breast and obsess over how I look when dressed. I am constantly sad about my failures as a man. I have considered transitioning, but my doctor is against it. I still have my male moments, but they are quickly becoming in the minority. I also long for a transgendered woman mentor to help me to become more female. I don't know what to do and I wouldn't know how to go about transitioning if that would finally end my confusion.